The very model of a modern photographer
I am the very model of a modern photographer
My skills honed daily, I’m an insatiable pixel peeper
I know the laws of phyics, and I quote the zeiss formula
C is d over one seven thirty, but only in the raw
I am an expert too, at spotting luminance and chroma noise
I see it at high iso, from small sensory camera toys
As a master of my art, I’ll always get the next new model
Since outdated gear makes my photography forum cred toddle,
I’ve studied in much depth the intricate law of equivalence,
And must say I approach it with a great deal of ambivalence
Because though you may in ignorance call it true hypocrisy
I’ll take full frame, for I can’t afford MF aristocracy
In short, on forums they call me a relentless pixel peeper,
I am the very model of a modern photographer
I know the essential seven secrets of the range dynamic
And have downloaded software for stitching pictures panoramic
I know all the acronyms mystic: FF, A and HDR
Even though I must admit, the results I’ve seen are quite bizarre
I’ve known for years all there is to know on exposure bracketing
And can blindly change almost ev’ry obscure but useful setting
I have a special gray card and my monitor’s calibrated
If I find a fault somewhere I’ll always upgrade unabated
I pity the poor fools who use the other manufacturer
They’ll get no better photographs than does the wedding caterer
In short, on forums they call me a relentless pixel peeper,
I am the very model of a modern photographer
In fact, as soon as I can find out what is meant with golden hour,
When I have the skills requir’d to take a picture of a flower
When I switch from auto to A-mode and turn off auto-iso
And remove from pictures the nasty lens flare that is an eye-sore
When I’ve found out how to use my camera photographical,
In times when the light is grey and faded and less than optimal,
In short when I’ve a smattering of experience practical
I will change my worry from gear to composition tactical
For my photographic knowledge, though I’m one of many preachers
Stems not from picture taking, but rather has blogs as teachers
But still, on forums they call me a relentless pixel peeper,
I am the very model of a modern photographer
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